The Irony of Spring Cleaning, Why I Was Absent

Yesterday I said I'd tell you why I've been absent from the blog and keeping to myself, not replying to emails or reaching out in any way. There are a few reasons why, and some I can now talk about, but others not yet able to.

When I had that kicked in the gut feeling back in January, it wouldn't go away.  I tend to dwell on things and examine long and closely sometimes, so I thought this was the reason for me not feeling well.  I was wrong.

To make a longish story short and skip over details- I had a brush with cancer:  had tests, had surgery, and been told it was all removed.  (About four years ago I had the same symptoms, had surgery but no cancer.)

The doctor said I'll need tests again in a few months, biopsy, and see where things stand then.  I got an injury in the hospital and had to have treatment for that- totally unrelated to the cancer! Plus some of the medication made me ill and I had to recover from that.  I guess the universe is sarcastically knocking me about this way.

When surgery was scheduled, I only fell apart for about three quarters of a day, and I think that was due to the uncertainty- what lay ahead.  After that I pulled myself together and faced it calmly, after all, there is no one but myself to rely on***- that's for another post.  If things were not this easy, this "got it all in one surgery" I hope I would still be strong, but I don't know.  I'd do what I had to and keep a stiff upper lip, at least try to.

All in all, knock wood, I am doing well considering that cancer was a surprise visitor, a crummy way to begin the new year.

I'm going to make this a short post and hope to be back soon.  I hope all of you will soon be getting a break from the cold weather (those of us in North America) as I know this will make me feel a lot better.  Throwing off the layers, sweaters, vests, coats, cardigans, long sleeves, and knee highs!  Bring on sandal weather please...    

Thanks for sharing this with me.  I want to apologize for not answering emails or keeping up with Pinterest boards.  I shut down the blog I was not updating and deleted my inactive Twitter account- these were giving me guilt not joy and I need a bit more joy going forward.  I guess you could call it Spring Cleaning all the way around, inside and out.  

***Edited to add:   I was able to pull myself together because I did have Someone to rely on and in my process of getting thoughts and words together I simply didn't say.  Faith.  There's no way I would have kept moving forward on my own.  I had Someone to usher me through the process, to keep me calm, and to see me through it all.  I might feel alone, but I'm not alone.  He's helping me through the trials and the good times, too.