December 16, 2011

Put the Scissors Down Ma'am

Oh, I hope I'm not guilty of true angelcide.  I don't think that's possible.  After all, the angels are superior beings.  Okay, after hearing Christmas music on the radio since before Thanksgiving  and seeing umpteen Christmas sales commercials a week before that, the frustrations of what Christmas is NOT ABOUT but is thrown in our faces everywhere in a chaotic swell of frenzy, well it just got to me. That, plus my backlog of things undone; especially that backlog.

So...I did it. I ripped the head off the angel.  Angelcide.

Confession:  I've never liked this angel.  Do you feel guilty for buying something that you don't really like?  I do.  It was a spur of the moment purchase a few years ago when I needed a little something, it was cheap and I used it until I could not look at it anymore. That's how my thoughts stood at the kitchen counter with the sentimental old wreath needing a little something to make it last another holiday.  Sacrifice one decoration for the life of another.

The Act: Donc j'ai tue' l'ange. So I killed the angel. I removed her wings, tore apart her edging and STILL she remained sweetly composed and took my abuse!  Cleaning up the counter I threw her head without a body onto my desk.  I tried to cover her up and ignore the pain, but she drilled her saintly silent witness in my vertigo laden neck until the sick puppy in me, said,  Ca suffit! Enough!

Days later she was picked up and tossed in the trash can.  I can still revive her, but I refuse.  Je refuse de vous sauver mon ange.  I refuse to save you, my angel.  Christmas is for the living.   Ceci est vraiment la fin pour l'ange.  This is really the end for the angel.  Repos dans paix.  R.I.P. 

The Verdict: Coupable de le meurtre avec l'intention de refaire les papier peints et le cycle ascendant.  Guilty of murder with intent to redecorate and upcycle. My scissors are safely put away and only two decorations were mutilated in that short span of time.  The sentence was considerate in that this was a lapse, a crime made in stressful times.

Punishment: Condamne' pour observer de vieux films, mangez le chocolat et le the' de boisson, confiez-vous a' Lucy et d'autres choses conformement a' la foi de Noel dans mon couer. Sentenced to watch old movies, eat chocolate and drink tea, confide in Lucy, and other things in keeping with Christmas faith in my heart.

(For some reason this overly dramatic post required a few French phrases.  Je parle un tout petit peu de francais.  I've forgotten most of the correct tenses and spelling since learning French years ago.  If you want to share the corrections, please do!  My keyboard doesn't have the punctuation marks for French.)

Joyeux Noel Mes Amis.



✿ⒹⒺⒺ✿@ A Lapin Life said...

LOL! Your too funny!!


Craftymoose Crafts said...

J'aime le drame! Vous etes tres amusant. Je me souviens de moins francais que vous.

Hopefully, I didn't say anything wrong, LOL! Loved the post. Le pauvre ange!

Hope you are feeling well now..have a great weekend.

IrelandBrady said...

I can't speak French ... but your message clearly came through! LOL! Thank you for a much needed laugh in the midst of getting all ready for Christmas.

Merry Christmas to YOU!

Magic Love Crow said...

Gloria, I love this post so much! Thanks for the smile and the laughs! Also, thanks for your kind words on my blog ;o) Big Hugs and I hope you are well ;o)

Clare said...

This is hilarious! :D
Your blog is looking great. I'm looking forward to catching up on reading!

New End Studio said...

Dee, thanks for laughing along.

Deb, thanks for making me use a French dictionary! I don't remember all of it, either. See the dust gathering on the instruction tapes and records.

Brady, you are so welcome!

Stacy, you're welcome, too. I really hope your cousin gets to say goodbye in her own way. Hugs.

Clare, thanks for laughing with me and your new car print reminded me of the desert and the car chases in the old 70's movies- really nice print.

The dr visit was a waste, can't figure out the cause and I don't know what the next step is going to be. Thanks guys for asking and I am not going to let it win. xo

Gracey is not my name.... said...

That is hysterical!

New End Studio said...

Hi Gracey, gotta keep laughing...